Some kind of Forever

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I stood there feeling powerful, holding the reins of my kite firmly. I was so afraid of losing it, after all, I had taken the time to plan everything and had been there.

Right from when it first got attached to the thread that would give it the freedom to push off from the ground until it had reached high enough in the sky to soar. I remembered every detail – it was blue with white stripes and shone brightly under the rays of the sun.

Perfect, that’s how I would describe how they looked together.

The kite had opened itself up to limitless possibilities,

As the sun welcomed it with so much warmth.

There seemed to be some kind of mystery that they would solve together,

Like they were headed toward unexplored territory

There was so much that they didn’t know.

How long would they be able to travel together?

Who knew if the sun could keep its promise of following the kite wherever it went to and continue to brighten its path?

Yet, the kite danced fearlessly.

As if it just wanted to live in that one moment and hold on to it forever.

 

A few minutes later, it lost its wings.

And it started falling gently to the ground.

Soon it was nowhere in sight.

I stood there staring.

But this time feeling powerless. A little heartbroken, I would admit.

I wished things would have ended differently.

 

I wished that the kite would have had the chance to follow the sun until it set.

At least then, I could say that I had witnessed some kind of forever.

And suddenly, the wind began to blow harder.

As if it had heard my silent thoughts.

 

I saw my favorite patch of blue again, drifting above.

Peaceful and happy as it continued its journey.

Determined to reunite with what felt like home.

For a moment, I thought I had lost something so special.

 

But in fact, I was nowhere near empty-handed as I turned to leave.

I held onto newfound courage to fight for what I truly wanted.

Onto hope that sometimes, time could surprise me.

Only if I gave it a chance.

Then, maybe I would be as lucky as the sun someday.

     

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The Difference Between Then and Now

But the truth is, we all learnt it somewhere, in our own ways.How to be brave.How to not give up. How to appreciate the tiniest moments. (1)

Its always hard to sum up how much you have grown,

or how far you’ve come over the past year in words.

Think about it –

By now, you’ve learned so much more about yourself.

The things that matter the most to you.

Those that make you happy.

Where your passion lies,

And what your next goal is.

You seem to have it somewhat figured out already. You have a new plan.

A new vision.

And you’re ready to do whatever it takes to turn that into reality.

So you start to take a mental note.

Scribble on your board.

Re-focus all your energy.

Nothing can stop you now.

You can feel it.

And you start to believe in yourself,

a little more than you used to.

Because only you know your story.

Your journey will always be your biggest secret.

Because we as human beings never really find it easy to share

What we truly feel.

Or all that we have been through.

The world that surrounds us sees only a glimpse of it all.

They see your strength.

Your courage to take risks.

Your willingness to work hard.

Your gratitude for all that you have.

But the truth is, we all learned it somewhere, in our own ways.

How to be brave.

How to not give up.

How to appreciate the tiniest moments.

And as we did, we felt all kinds of emotions-

Happiness, pain, love, hope, and despair.

But you stand wherever you are today, because of one simple thing-

A choice.

To try harder. To challenge yourself.

To push through the times when days felt too long.

And nights where your thoughts kept you awake.

So when you look back and try to measure

The difference between then and now,

Remember this-

Maybe you’ve traveled a lot further from where you began.

Maybe you’re still taking baby steps and you haven’t made it to where you want to be.

But whatever it is between the two,

You made it here, and that’s all that matters.

And that’s what always will.

The Mad Run

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Let’s face it –

We’re constantly running.

Either toward something that we just need to achieve,

Or away, from everything that scares us.

It’s the unfamiliar things that make us think.

That keep us awake for hours.

That drive us to make new plans as we try to predict what they can lead to.

 

We wonder why we ran into them in the first place.

Trying to use reason to help silence the questions in our head.

I mean, of course, there has to be one.

Because isn’t that how destiny works?

 

But that’s not the hard part.

Because eventually, we learn how to make peace with all of that and move on.

Playing along, one day at a time.

The real struggle begins when we want to decide.

 

We want to decide to stop.

To hit pause and hold on to what lies in front of us.

Because somewhere deep inside,

Underneath all the walls that we surround ourselves with

We want to build something.

 

But how do you know when or where to do that?

After all, we spend so much time focusing on going from one thing to the next.

Afraid that if we don’t, we’d be left behind.

In this game, this madness that all of us built together.

The chase to reach a finish line that no one has ever seen.

 

It’s simple really.

All it takes is acceptance.

Accepting the fact that there is something that

Makes us feel different.

That lights us up in a way like never before.

That defies all logic.

And sometimes seems a little too crazy to be true.

 

It’s when you wake up knowing

That you want to stay.

Because, that something – that place, that memory, that person

Makes you happy.

It makes you feel safe.

Like you can count on it for longer than most things.

I would say forever, but of course, that’s just a myth.

 

Yes, it’s that easy.

No rocket science really.

All you need to do is give yourself a chance.

 

Don’t be afraid to slow down.

To look around and appreciate

All the things that you come across.

Because you never know when

You’ll find that one thing that will make you think twice.

About running. About fear. About how stuff works.

It never announces itself.

It just appears.

Knocking on your door.

So, make sure you’re ready when it does.

 

Choose to welcome it.

Choose to stay.

That just how it is.

Remember that the one who really wins the mad run,

in the end, isn’t the one who comes first.

But the one who creates something beautiful along the way.

 

Scars, Battles, Destruction and Beauty

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Every now and then, something will destroy you. Sometimes a little, and sometimes completely. It will test your patience. Push you to the edge. Challenge your strength. Demand your courage.

It will question everything that you believe in. And leave you thinking deep. About just how you were able to make all those decisions that made you stand at the place that you are at today. And why you made them.

You will break. Or maybe get scarred during the fierce battle between your mind and your heart. As you redefine your limits and push your boundaries. As you begin to realize that you are capable of withstanding so much more than you think. Of achieving what seems impossible.

You will fall. Or maybe bend a little. As you try to carry yourself through it all. Remembering exactly why you need to win. To get back up and move on.

You will hear all those voices. The ones that told you that you were not good enough. Or maybe that questioned whether you were the best choice and walked away.

You will face the fear. Of losing. Of never being able to be the same person again. Of giving away too much of yourself to someone.

But falling apart piece by piece isn’t really a bad thing.

In fact, it might be exactly what you need.

To see the beautiful mess that you can make.

To see how far you can go before breaking.

To get a chance to put yourself back together.

In a way, that nobody else can imagine of. Not even you.

Because when you rise after that something.

The something that destroys you.

Just a little. Or completely.

You will be a little better. Or maybe the best version of yourself.

And that’s when you realize that it’s all worth it.

The intense emotion, the unseen drama, the tough choices and the uncertainty.

So, embrace it. All of it.

And save it as a memory.

Because in the end, what once destroyed you will become a great story.

 

 

You Survived

Step out of the door each day knowing that you can handle whatever it brings. Believe in your journey – look back at how far you’ve come. Be bold enough to make decisions without knowing exactly how they will turn out in the end. They may be far from perfect. But that won’t matter. Because they will be yours. Be honest. Say what’s on your mind more often. Don’t waste time thinking about it.  Because maybe its exactly what someone wants to hear. Listen to your favourite song.

Spend time doing something you love. Don’t let your to do list take over. Be open to change. Greet a stranger. Smile for no reason. Stop thinking about how the world sees you. Embrace life just as it is. Even if its not what you had imagined it to be at this point. Destiny, is something that you have no control over. But when it comes to everything else, you’re in charge.

Work hard. Give it your all. So that when everything falls into place, you can say that you did something right. That you are proud. Of having made that choice.

Stand tall and keep moving. Wear your scars with pride. Let go of the fear. Because if you are lucky enough to have reached that point, you will know that you survived.

 

I’ll Be Me

Woman painting walking in the park figurative art

 

Just a little bit out of control,

Some even call her crazy,

Others say that she’s adventurous and brave,

That she has the courage to simply be

They say it’s strange how she’s able to smile,

Even on the darkest days

And dare to lead, instead of follow

Trying to find her own way

Some call her a rebel,

They say, she never settles for less

And some say that she’s trouble

Always part of some kind of mess

Some look with eyes full of envy,

Wanting to be more like her

Others say that she’s full of secrets,

And gaze as they whisper

And her? Well she already knows

She greets them as she passes by,

Not afraid to be who she is

Because she has nothing to hide

And as night falls, she sits by the window

Staring at the pitch-black sky

She opens a book, pulls out a page

Finally, ready to set herself free

One word at a time,

She begins to write silently

“I know I’m one of a kind,

And you may not always agree,

But that’s the beauty of it all, in the end

You’ll be you,

And I’ll be me….”

She turns around, and looks up

Thanking the blanket of stars for being so kind

For spreading nothing but brightness

In a world where a reason to smile was sometimes hard to find……

 

What Matters the Most

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We walk towards things, often unknown.

Choosing to stay, or maybe leave after a while.

But that’s not the part that matters.

What matters is what you leave behind.

Happiness, hope, love, respect – that’s all that it takes.

To maybe give someone something worth remembering you for.

Touching lives can simply be a hello and goodbye kind of thing.

But touching hearts – it’s not that simple.

Because it takes more than just a couple of words.

 

It means giving part of yourself to someone to hold onto.

And every time you do that, it makes you have to decide.

To choose what exactly would be worth it.

And sometimes, you have no idea.

And that’s why we often choose not to stop.

We prefer to keep walking.

 

But what if you chose differently someday.

Say you wanted more than just a conversation?

What’s the key to succeeding?

Is there a magic spell of some kind?

Truth is – nobody knows.

And there’s no way to be sure.

But as far as I know,

It’s all about giving.

 

Giving without expecting anything in return.

Of course, that’s easier said than done.

But go ahead, give it a try.

Open yourself up to what lies ahead.

And when you do come across something, don’t just pass by.

 

Instead challenge yourself.

Embrace the feeling.

Let down the walls.

Break if you have to.

Because it might just make you stronger,

Or give you one hell of a story to tell.

Either way,

Take it from me – it’s totally worth it.

 

But then I too am just like you.

A dreamer. A realist. A wanderer.

Walking through life, one day at a time.

Redefining who I am with every encounter,

And putting together the pieces of the puzzle.

 

Till then, I continue to walk.

Hoping to see where all of this leads to someday.

Maybe it’s not what I have in mind.

But whatever it is, I’m sure it will be a masterpiece

And hopefully then, it will all make sense.

The stops made. The chances taken. The things left behind.

 

So, the next time you need to make a choice, think about this-

It is scary, but you never know how it fits into the whole picture and what you will find.

Make that one thing matter. Because for all you know, it might just end up being the one thing that matters the most.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Unwritten Diary

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He said goodbye

And I kept waiting

Staring at the half-open door

Wondering if he would ever return

Or care to look back just once

Because if he did,

He would have seen it in my eyes

 

The reason why I never completed that last sentence

Those words that were always left unsaid

The part of me that didn’t want it to end

But somewhere knew that I had no choice

 

How I wish I could show him

The 108 pages that I had written

As my mind wandered at 2am

One night after another

Thinking about things

 

He said that I worried too much

And I always smiled back at him

Knowing that he was right

 

Maybe I should have tried harder

To live in the present

As he always said

Honestly, I did

Until a glimpse of the future

Flashed before my eyes

But I knew that this was coming

In fact, I had known all along

I just never told him

Because his smile was too precious

For me to take away

 

Maybe all I needed to do

Was make another wish

And then this would be over

He would walk back in

And shut the door

I would stop worrying,

Like he always asked me to

 

And think about life

One day at a time

Until night would fall again

And at 2 am

I would end up writing

Page 109

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Something, Somewhere

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She woke up as one person, but was never the same one the next day.

Each morning brought with it a new surprise.

Sometimes she had a lot to look forward to…Sometimes nothing at all.
Sometimes she felt as if she was on top of the world..Sometimes she would hit the ground hard.
Sometimes she felt like she was unstoppable..and sometimes it took her forever to move past things.
Sometimes she was fearless..sometimes too scared to think out loud.
Sometimes she would laugh endlessly
and sometimes cry.
Sometimes she thought really hard about what mattered in life…
Sometimes she chose to make no plan.
Sometimes she seemed to be an open book..Sometimes a puzzle waiting to be solved.

Was she the same person I had met before? Honestly, I couldn’t tell.
But I saw things changing.

With every moment that passed by.

From turning struggle into success.
From choosing wisely to making a complete mess.
From cleaning it up to getting ready to rule the world again.
From smiling often, to every now and then.

People said she was crazy. That she had no idea of what she wanted.
But I never really listened to them, because all I could see was the flame that lit up her eyes,
Burning with limitless desire.

And every time I gazed at them, they made me believe.

Believe that I could be a dreamer
and wander for as long as I wished.
Until I found what I really needed.

Time didn’t matter.
It could take years, months or a couple of days.
All that mattered was finding one reason to be happy..out of a million different ways….

Moving On

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Sometimes, we look back,

At everthing that we let go of

The limits we once set ,

The beliefs we once held,

The people we once knew

Wondering if it was really worth it…..

 

If we are making the right choice now

If we had made the right choice back then

Searching endlessly for some kind of sign-

One that would tell us that we are heading the right way…

 

One that would give us the courage

To move one step closer

Towards where we are meant to be

But at the same time

Move a step further from where we once were….

 

Hours pass by,

Sometimes even days

Yet our reverie continues

And so does our search….

 

And then all of a sudden

The confusion ends

So does the doubt

That we once had in our mind…

 

We make a decision

And leave everything behind-

The choices we once made,

The memories we once cherished,

The fear we once had….

 

Knowing that things will never be perfect,

But promising ourselves

That in the end

It will all matter

It will be worth it…….