Usually I would smile,
Say something motivating and make myself feel better.
But that day I simply stood there.
Torn between sadness and anger.
Fear and hope.
Deciding whether I should keep fighting or simply give up.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t been through any ups and downs in life.
In fact, nothing had ever come easy.
It always demanded everything that I had in me.
After countless sleepless nights of hard work,
I had gotten a chance to stand where I was today.
Surrounded by everything that I had once said that I wanted.
I kept saying that this too would pass.
But on the inside, I wasn’t so sure.
Would I be able to get up again?
Even after reaching a low that I had never imagined?
Did I still have what it would take to keep moving?
Was I strong enough to hold myself together while I was at it?
I just couldn’t think straight anymore.
But there was no point looking back now.
So, what was next?
Spending the day accepting defeat?
Talking myself into believing that it was all going to be okay on its own?
That was not it.
Maybe it was time to take up a new challenge.
To stop worrying about what went wrong.
To spend time thinking about what I was going to do to make it right.
I couldn’t just stand there and do nothing, waiting.
I had given up too much to let it all go away.
I was going to do everything that I could to make it work.
That sounded way better.
Ranting had finally paid off.
I had survived yet another tough day.
Life – 1, Me – 0
But that was about to change,
Because I had a new plan….